Pushing back from the table, I stand and say, “Excuse me. I’ll be right back.”
I straighten the black gown I have on and glide across the ballroom floor toward the exit into the lobby, all the while pretending my feet don’t hurt. There, I find the nearest bathroom, push the door open and lean on the counter, taking multiple deep breaths. What have I gotten myself into? I never dreamed my marriage would be like this. Everything about our marriage is the opposite of what I envisioned it would be. It used to be more like a marriage in the beginning. Caspian had time for me, but soon after, Caspian’s father had him believing he had to be this looked-up-to public figure. It’s a sad day when my husband’s father has more pull with him than I do. Why is it so hard for him to see that? Or does he see it and not care?
I take another calming breath, check my makeup and say, “Okay, Nia—just get through the night. You can do this. You’ve done it many times before. What’s one more time? You got this.”
I take another breath.
Okay, so the situation is not ideal, but at least I’m out with Caspian. In some odd way, that should be considered a halfway win. But in my mind, I know what he told me. This was supposed to be us on a date – not us with a bunch of uppity banquet people. Call me selfish, but I want all of his time when it’s my time to have it. I don’t want to share my husband with everything and everyone else, and that includes the Mr. Black Organization.
I step out of the bathroom in full pretense mode until I see Caspian standing in the lobby. He looks up from his cell, sees me, and comes sauntering over, all suave and sexy. My oh my, he’s a sight for sore eyes. Some days, I have a hard time believing this intelligent man who graduated top of his class, is mine. He’s a man who influences so many decisions in the black community. A man who is a champion for inclusion and equality. A man of morals and values. Of integrity. I hate being upset with him after all the good he’s done, but does it make me a bad person for wanting to have some alone time with my husband? I don’t think so.
Mr. Tall, Dark & Unavailable is coming June 17, 2023. Pre-Order here. Also, check out all books in the Baes of Juneteenth Series.
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